I’m surrounded by a pile of tissues right now. the tears cannot stop flowing out of my eyes. it’s uncontrollable. I’m so unhappy. I wish i could bang my head as hard as i could against a wall right now. i wish i could just die and that would hurt him the most when he looses someone he loves. i could never leave him though because i love him so much but this is just such a bad relationship. i want it to work so badly. i want him. i want to be happy. i wish i didn’t feel these thoughts that i wanted to die so badly. i just want to be gone so i don’t have to deal with this anymore. so maybe people would look back and think that they missed me. maybe my boyfriend would look back and wished that he comforted me more than he did and maybe then things would be different.
i wish there was a way of kiling myself that didn’t result in me being crazy or taken to a psychiatrist. my boyfriend always judges those girls and i know i should be one of them but i’m too afraid to tell anyone or get help :’(
please help me?
it’s been a rough few days. i’ve been really sick and haven’t been able to eat much. i went home from college and my mom is making me eat only white breads and crackers because i have a stomach bug. it’s day 3 so far. hopefully i’m better by valentines day! <3
Breakfast: whole wheat bagel (with middle breading taken out), eggs, canadian bacon, cantaloupe, vegan granola
Snack: pineapple, 100calorie pop corn
Dinner: zucchini with vegan meat pasta sauce, vegan granola, lettuce w/ zucchini, chickpeas and tomatoes
Dessert: 1 vegan mini cookie, vegan cookie bread/cake slice, some peanut m&m’s
I guess today’s intake wasn’t as much junk and sugar as other days. I can definitely see a difference in my eating when i write it down because it looks like so much more on the screen than what i’m counting in my head. I’m gonna do this everyday to keep track
- lots and lots of crunches (wasn’t counting)
- 20 push ups
Seriously, i told you guys it was lame….
Love is such a hard feeling to explain. How do you know you love someone? Do you love him? Or just love the fact that you have someone who loves you?
I love him. He is my everything. My world revolves around him. Every minute, every second he crosses my mind. I’m so lucky to be able to call such an amazing guy like him my boyfriend. He completes me. I’ve never found anyone before who completed me. Before him, I could never be myself around a guy, but with him, I let all boundaries loose. I’m not usually one to completely open up with someone, but with him it’s different. Whether it’s doing a silly little dance or making funny noises, I can be my complete self around him. I don’t have to hold back a single thing. And the best part is he knows all my secrets and I know his. He’s my best friend. I can talk to him about anything, tell him anything, get advice. He’s always there for me and I’ll always be there for him.
Love is just that. Happiness, smiles, cuddles, kisses, tears, sex, hand holding, back rubbing, head stroking, arm stroking, footsie, hugs.
The eye does not see a flaw if the heart loves a heart.
Breakfast: 1 slice ezekel bread w/ organic natural peanut butter, strawberries, small handful of almonds
Lunch: grilled chicken, sweet potato. brussel sprouts, salad: spinach, cucumber, egg white, tomato, cruton, cranberries, 1 serving of all natural chips
Dinner: 1/2 serving of sweet potato fries, some brown rice, some dry tuna with lettuce, spinach salad with croutons tomato cucumber egg white cranberries no dressing, pineapple, vegan granola
Dessert: 2 mini vegan carob chip cookies, 1 serving of cookies and cream ice cream, 1 mini rice krispy treat, 1/2 m&m cookie
Oh wow I eat so much dessert spread out throughout the day. My boyfriend is such a bad influence, he knows i have a sweet tooth :(
Hey everyone, i just added a new page that shows pictures of the best foods to buy and a small description as to why I think they’re the best. It’s taken me years to find the best of the best so take a look!
Most people judge foods based on their calorie and fat content. But shouldn’t we look at food based on what’s in it? I’ve been really into eating natural foods without chemicals and preservatives. Since I’ve been doing so, I’ve noticed almost everything on the shelves had bad additives and chemicals. Why do all these foods have these ingredients? Even trusted brands like Kashi, cliff bar, vegan brands, gluten free… let me down.
- Soy lecithin
- Soy protein isolate
- BHA & BHT
- Partionally hydrated oils (trans fat!!)
- Hydrated soybean oil
- Monosodium glutamate (MSG)
There are soo many more additives to look out for, here’s a quick link to check out:
Breakfast: oatmeal, whole wheat bagel, part of oikos greek yogurt
Lunch: grilled chicken w/ spinach, tomato, onions, mushrooms, peppers, side of sweet potato fries split w/ a friend, vegan cookie
Dinner: brown rice, ham, peas, green beans
Dessert: 2 mini vegan cookies, mini rice krispy treat, 2 bites of lemon popyseed cake
Later snacks: grilled chicken w/ tomato, lettuce, mushroom, onion, all natural chips, 3 almonds, strawberries, blackberries, pineapple
Wow my intake has drastically changed over time. I eat so much more dessert and junk food now. It’s so horrible! I’m getting rid of all of the chips and everything though. And no more desserts at the dinning hall. Once i see it all typed out it’s wayyy too much food. No wonder I feel fatter.