ugh life.

sorry guys. you have no idea what i’ve been to deal with this past month. I had no idea my summer was gonna turn out this way.

If you wanna know my life drama that should be a reality tv show don’t hesitate to ask. i don’t want to put it completely public though.

but through this whole process, i’ve realized i’m weaker than i thought. i’m not mentally strong enough to go through with things i wish i could do, things that would make me happier. 

Update

back to eating normally again and eating a lot more food. i definitely went through a little depression before. now i’m just trying to sort my life out. i know that i’m wrong in my choice to stay with him after he had sex with a girl the next day after he broke up with me after we were dating for almost a year. but now i can do whatever i want in our open relationship.

How do I pick up the broken pieces?
Sorry guys

As you can see I’m going through soooo much right now. I need to get my life in check and my ex/ boyfriend
Brb. I promise

A little part of me dies inside when I breathe in and out.

I can’t do this. Please make the pain stop

My life is falling apart

One day it’s good, he reassures me, the next, he’s blowing up at me and saying have a good life. I can’t take it anymore. I’m going to break. I’m already broken. I don’t know how to pick my pieces up. I can’t eat or sleep. I lay in my bed last night awake from 1:30am- 5am. I can’t live like this. I just can’t. Someone please help me.

Intake 6/6

Breakfast- coffee, 1/2 banana
Lunch- 3 bites apple, 1/2 C egg whites with spinach
Dinner- tiny plate of pineapple and water melon

Intake 6/5

Breakfast- nothing
Lunch- apple (at 2pm)
Dinner- plain salad with mixed greens, strawberries, tomato and cucumber
When I’m upset I can’t eat, which is obviously shown above.

Din dinn was a salad with chicken, strawberries, cucumber

Din dinn was a salad with chicken, strawberries, cucumber

Nevermind ?

Don’t mind my posts before. He made a mistake, regretted it and wanted me back. That’s all I wanted.
We’re good for each other. I know it.

This is death.

Well… Now I’m single. I feel so lost. 9 months with someone so close is so hard to move on from. One day you’re smiling and everything is fine. The next day you’re sobbing and pleading for him to come back to you because you were that stupid to ruin things.
My mind is blank. I got 0 hours of sleep. I’m about to take, aka fail, a 2 hour test. My stomach is growling so hard but I can’t stomach any food. My eyes hurt everytime I blink from crying so hard. My heart oh gosh don’t even get my started. My heart is numb but at the same time burning with a firey pain so deep it’s sinking into my stomach. The butterflies won’t stop swirling around. I’m trying to study for my test, but words just go in and out and all I can think is will he ever take me back.

Intake 6/5

Breakfast: coffee, apple, 1/4C of cereal (bar bras shredded spoonfuls) (200 cal)

Lunch: multigrain quesadilla w/ 1/4C cheese, spinach, tomato, plain grilled chicken (200 cal)

Snack: cereal, 1/2 fiber one bar (200)

Dinner: white mean chicken, 3/4 C brown rice (200 cal)

that’s all I can’t even eat i’m too upset…

Kill me

Just please kill me. My heart is being torn out and smashed into a million pieces right now. I’m not okay.

Intake 6/3

Breakfast: a couple bites of cereal (in a rush)
Lunch: multigrain quesadilla with chicken cheese spinach tomato, carrots, strawberries and blueberries, chocolate cookies
Dinner: egg whites cheese spinach omelette, 1/2 fiber one bar, dark chocolate m&m’s
I didn’t eat much today … Hmm

Need help :/

How do you let go of someone if you know they’re not good for you and they’ve hurt you in the past, but they’re you’re first love and you’re just so attached to them?